"What If I Succeed?"

“What’s important to you in your life at this time? What message do you think your life sends to others? What pivotal lessons have you learned from living your life in the last few years?”  Robert J. Nash

On Saturday, September 2, 2006, at approximately 3:00 p.m., I stepped from one circle of my life back into another that I had not been familiar with in some time. Hurricane Ernesto swirled to the south, a two year old boy screamed in shrill cries of fear and loneliness. Then, finally, a car horn signaled a distant report. I was alone, headed north, with 50 poorly packed pounds strapped to my soon to be aching back. This was a beginning and an end.

The great mountaineer Sir George Mallory, when asked why he climbed the world’s highest and most extreme peaks, answered simply, “Because it’s there.” Nike created one the most successful tag lines in advertising history with their simple “Just Do It” slogan. In my mind, I asked myself the question, “What if I succeed?” It was a question that would echo through my mind for the next 272 miles and 22 days on this journey back to myself. In a way, there was another version of myself waiting at the end of this journey. Perhaps someone had left dropped him off there many years ago, or perhaps he left me and we traveled different paths until we would soon be reconnected.

My motivation for this journey was both shallow and deep. Much as Mallory quipped and Nike urged, this was a journey to take simply because it existed, and at some level my ego and machismo needed it. Further in, I discovered I desired this journey to prove that I could, and to learn what I did not know. As much as I pondered why this journey meant something to me, it was not until it meant something to those closest to me that it became a reality.

This journey was nothing more than the simple act of walking. It was decorated with wool socks, polypro shirt, leather boots, and a smattering of equipment compiled over a lifetime from various sources and people. The walking was easy at times, boring often, and occasionally sublime. The footing was interrupted incessantly with roots, rocks and glorious mud. It is a journey that few ever undertake, and those that do, rarely finish. Yet, it was still walking, an act we perform daily. Would I finish? Would I meet myself there? What if I succeed?